Getting Away From It All

I’ve been away to social media sites for the past few days, weeks rather. Not that I am busy or sort of.

My Facebook account gets opened more rarely than I used to. On days that I try to put up a status update or share an entertaining post, I often feel the urge to remove it. I just log in there when I greet some friend on his/her birthday or if there are messages that I need to respond to.

If I have to recall about my old self, this would’ve been pretty alarming. It’s quite different from years ago when I used to be socially active. I was updated to all my friends’ (even those who I only know by name) lives, enemies, problems, relationship status, and anything else they put up on social media even if it’s shouldn’t be there.

However in these moments, I feel like I have been wasting time being online for this long that I need to log out from it. Aside from being unproductive during days that I should be doing something worthy, it’s surprisingly causing stress in my being. My inner self is starting to get fed up with irrelevant articles, political rants, and superficial memes in my news feed. What’s even worse than that is when I accidentally scrolled upon spoilers on my favorite TV series I haven’t watched yet. These make me cringe. Do people don’t have anything else to do but Facebook?

What else do I expect to see? I have long unfollowed a number of friends (without them knowing) because I’m no longer interested in finding out what they’re currently up to.

I’ve been telling myself I needed to get involved socially so I can at least warn someone that he’s starting to be an idiot, or teach some grammatically incorrect people the difference of your and you’re. But what will I get from these? Smart-shaming is the least of my concern.

I know what I’m doing. I’m distancing myself from the world, again, so I can be at peace. I do not care anymore if people starts to forget I exist. Do I hate society now?

Life Lately: Vol 04

  • I have to prepare myself for an upcoming certification exam within two months. Well, two months are long. There is more time to procrastinate, said my crammer self.
  • It’s the time of the year again, where my skin’s covered with insect bite-like rashes that irritate me like hell. I remembered how I suffered last 2014 for these strange itchy rashes on my body and face. Turns out it always happens during summer.
  • May 2016 Election Day is approaching. In the wake of controversies being thrown to my prospect presidential candidate for these past few days, I’m on the verge of picking another…wait, there is no choice left.
  • There are rumors that COLDPLAY IS COMING TO MANILA. I wish to save enough money before they announce the ticket prices so I won’t have to sell my kidney or beg in the streets to attend the concert.
  • I’m excited to Game of Thrones’ new season. No spoilers please!

Life Lately: Vol 03

  • I’ve been meaning to write a post regarding my Mt. Pulag adventure last week but I’m still not in the mood for uploading photos. Next week, maybe.
  • My teammates and I finally finished an important project at work, which means less overtime and early out, and less stress.
  • I was able to find someone who’ll help me to make this blog step up to the next level, well—for good. I hope this will push me harder to write more, without further excuses. Thanks to you!
  • I look forward to stay away from the city, go home, and relax. 🏠
  • I’m excited to approaching Lenten Season.
  • I already finished Jojo Moyes’ Me Before You (which I’m about to post a review some other time) I’m currently reading its 2nd book: After You.
  • My friend and I went to a water spa just recently.
  • So many backlogs to start with!

Wow, my life’s slowly getting more interesting. 😂

You: Did you miss me?

I miss you and all, but I’m too lost for words.

We’ve been mindful of what this world’s all about – filled with thoughts remained unscathed, as if telling one the truth will mean burying ourselves deeper into the ground.

But beyond every apathetic excuse I came up with on why I drew the line of keeping in touch, I soon figured out there is still left to grasp onto, let alone prove that all these mattered once, the ones I’ve kept this long from you.

Like how you reminded me of how weak you fell to your knees and how stronger you’ve become on the darkest of days after you unknowingly saw the light in me.

Or how you brought the comfort while I deal with strands of hopelessness and your stupid little ways of reminding me that better days are yet to come.

I remembered everything, even the slightest piece of fragment of what used to be the deepest of deep we cannot even fathom.

I miss you my antihero, regardless of thinking you will never be the same. The world will continue to spin for how long it will take, but no longer will be the same world we once both revolved around in.

For how long will I taste this aftermath?

How can I possibly detach?

Life Lately: Vol 02

1455627475751-1-1

  • I was running in and out of the clinic for the last week after finding out there was something wrong with my urinalysis result. It’s telling that I have urinary track infection when it’s really not, so it’s kind of unusual when they asked me if I feel in pain and I told them no, not even once. I think I have to increase my water intake from now on.
  • I seldom finish a chapter of the book I’m currently reading because of a lot of overtime work I’ve been doing lately. When I reached home, I only have an hour left to prepare to sleep. Ugh, when will I ever finish reading, seriously?
  • I finally discovered a new movie to watch for! The movie adaptation of Jojo Moyes’ novel Me Before You. I found the story interesting, so I downloaded its eBook version. I can’t wait to see Emilia Clarke portray a different role other than her being Daenerys Targaryen, plus the fact that Alex Stewart is her leading man, #LoveRosie feels.
  • Valentine’s Day is coming and I can’t wait to spend the day with my family, and my bed — my long term date 😍
  • At last, there is something to look forward to this summer. I’m excited!

Life Lately: Vol. 01

First two weeks of 2016 have passed, so is my monotonous life. Basically, there isn’t much thing to do over the weekends, either stroll on malls or stay indoors. Only two options to choose from, and yet I crave more of it because I don’t have much me-time during weekdays and that sucks.

Anyhow, here is what I’m up to lately:

  • I asked my friend to come with me and visit Pinto Art Museum in Antipolo last weekend.  We captured photos of artworks and ourselves. I finally found a decent photo for my Facebook profile as well. 😊
  • I am not so busy with work for the first two weeks, yet I’ve been rendering OTs everyday because they require me to. It’s not pretty bad because I consider it as a way of saving more money, though it also means getting bigger taxes.
  • I’m stressing my life for some reasons. I overthink too much. I have several what ifs. It’s making me feel more inferior. There are times I only get to sleep after crying. It bothers me a lot, so are my dreams.
  • I have never been so guilty my whole life, until it happened. I know I’ve said something bad to a person and I don’t know what to do about it. 😢 The person keeps on telling me about something important and asks me what to do and  I’ve been telling the right thing a few times already and maybe I felt disappointed that person’s not listening to me so I said it. I still hope that person will do it, and I hope that person won’t feel mad at me. 😶 God, can we just go back to that day so I can correct my mistake? (Forgive me for using “that person” many times. I’m not telling if it’s a guy or girl.)
  • I’m losing my appetite because of this heavy period and I’m trying so hard to deal with the pain. Wow, my Saturday and Sunday were just spent indoors, lying on my bed because of this.
  • I’m still finding ways how will I save more money. There is still hope.
  • I’m just starting to read All the Bright Places. I deserve a slap for this.

 

Right now, I’m the only person staying at this house. Everyone but me is living his/her life outdoors. Mine’s boring, don’t be like me.

You don’t feel sadness like I do

You never wandered to any place and found solitude within every bumpy road you took and street you dared to cross. You didn’t lock yourself in a room filled with nothing but gloom, as it thrust you all the pain this lonely world had to offer. You never felt the agony of missing the people who drifted away one by one, until nobody else was left to stay. You’re not familiar to shortness of breath, in-between sobs, holding back of tears and clenching fists. You never felt the hypothermic chills moving through spine, numbing every part of skin while it cracks through every nerve of your brain. You never escaped from what is worse than fear and apathy. You never masked yourself to get away from everything that troubles you.

You don’t feel sadness like I do.

Art Appreciation

“She never looked nice. She looked like art, and art wasn’t supposed to look nice; it was supposed to make you feel something.” ― Eleanor & Park

If you’re an artsy person or simply looking for a nice place to get relaxed and appreciate works of art as well, just like me, I highly recommend this art museum in Antipolo – Pinto Art Museum. I was dying to go there since last year and got pretty lucky enough to have found the time to visit the place.

Showing you some of the photos captured inside the museum.

(more…)